Narrative Rules:Control Your Narrative, Control Your Life
Narrative Rules:
Control Your Narrative, Control Your Life
Have you ever stopped to think about the story you tell yourself? The narrative you believe about who you are, what you’re capable of, and how the world works?
The truth is, the narrative we hold has an enormous impact on our lives. It shapes our experiences, our interactions, and our sense of what’s possible. And here’s the best part—we have the power to change it.
Shaped by Our Conditioning
From the moment we’re born, we start absorbing information. Our upbringing, culture, religion, relationships, and every experience we have contribute to the narrative we form about the world and our place in it.
Whether we realise it or not, every experience is shaped by the narrative we bring to it. This means we’re not simply passive receivers of the world around us; we actively interpret it through the lens of our personal story.
The Buddhists have a fascinating perspective on this. They say there is no inherent story attached to any experience until we assign it one of our own. In other words, the events of life are neutral, and it's our narrative that gives them meaning.
This is powerful because it means that our experiences—good or bad—are subjective. Two people can go through the same event but walk away with entirely different stories about what happened.
The implications of this are profound. It means that we have the power to change our experiences by changing the narrative we attach to them.
The Power to Change Who We Are
Not only do we shape our experiences through our narrative, but we also shape our sense of self. Who we believe we are, and what we believe we’re capable of, are also stories we tell ourselves.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we’re fixed—this is who I am, this is what I can or can’t do—but that’s simply not true. Our sense of identity is malleable, shaped by the narrative we repeat over and over.
This is why it’s so important to take control of the story you’re telling yourself. If you keep telling yourself that you’re not good enough, that you’ll never succeed, or that you’re stuck where you are, then that narrative will continue to play out in your life. But if you change the story—if you start telling yourself that you’re capable, resilient, and open to new possibilities—you can begin to create a new reality for yourself.
Our Thoughts Control Us More Than We Realise
In his book Why Buddhism is True, Robert Wright explains that we don’t control our thoughts as much as we think we do. In fact, it’s often the other way around—our thoughts control us. Wright uses the analogy of the mind having different compartments, each responsible for generating different thoughts. The thought that gets the most attention is the one that shouts the loudest, not necessarily the one that serves us best.
This insight is crucial in understanding how narratives form. If we’re not mindful, the loudest thoughts—the ones influenced by fear, doubt, and past conditioning—can dominate our narrative. But once we become aware of this, we can start to choose which thoughts to give attention to and which ones to let go. By controlling the narrative, we can regain control of our thoughts and, by extension, our lives.
Positive Affirmations: Shaping Your Narrative
One powerful tool that can help you rewrite your narrative is the use of positive affirmations. These are short, powerful statements that reflect the new story you want to create for yourself.
The key with affirmations is to make them personal, present, and positive.
For example:
"I am capable and resilient."
"I am open to new opportunities."
"I trust myself to handle challenges with grace."
By repeating these affirmations daily, you begin to rewire your brain and create a narrative that empowers you. It might feel strange at first, but with consistent practice, these affirmations become part of your internal dialogue, replacing limiting beliefs with thoughts that uplift and inspire you.
Limited or Liberated? The Choice Is Yours
The narrative we hold can either limit us or liberate us. In any situation, it’s the narrative that dictates how we respond. Do we see challenges as threats, or as opportunities for growth? Do we view ourselves as victims of circumstance, or as creators of our own destiny?
By shifting our narrative, we shift our entire perspective. We can move from a place of fear to a place of possibility, from a mindset of scarcity to one of abundance.
And here’s the truly incredible part: We only see the world the way we do because of our limited senses.
Our five senses—sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell—are designed to help us survive, not necessarily to give us a full picture of reality. There’s so much more going on around us that we simply can’t perceive.
For example, someone who’s colour blind sees the world differently from someone with full colour vision. Does that mean one person’s experience of reality is more valid than the other’s? No, it’s just different. Snakes can see infrared radiation—something completely outside of our range of vision.
So, who’s to say what reality truly looks like?
The point is, we don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are. The story we tell ourselves shapes our view of the world, and that story can be limiting or liberating, depending on the narrative we choose to believe.
Practical Steps to Rewriting Your Narrative
Now that we know how powerful our narrative is, how do we go about changing it?
Become Aware of Your Current Narrative
Start by noticing the story you’re telling yourself. Is it empowering or limiting? Are you focusing on what’s possible, or are you stuck in a cycle of doubt and fear?Challenge the Narrative
Once you’re aware of the narrative, ask yourself if it’s true. Is it really true that you’re not good enough? That you’re stuck? That you can’t change? Start to question the beliefs that are holding you back.Create a New Story
Begin to write a new narrative. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, focus on what’s possible. Craft a story that supports your growth and aligns with the person you want to become.Practice Positive Affirmations
Create affirmations that reflect the new narrative you want to live by. Repeat these affirmations daily, preferably in the morning to set the tone for the day. Over time, these positive statements will become your default way of thinking.Embrace the Present Moment
Remember that the present moment is neutral. It’s only when we assign a narrative to it that it becomes “good” or “bad.” Try to experience life without constantly attaching a story to every event.
The Power of Changing Your Narrative
When you take control of your narrative, you take control of your life. You begin to see opportunities where before you saw obstacles. You start to believe in your own potential, rather than being held back by limiting beliefs. And you realise that you have the power to create a life that aligns with your deepest values and desires.
We can’t change the events that happen to us, but we can change how we interpret them. Control your narrative, and you control your experience.
Some Inspiration for Your Journey
Watching Recommendation 🎥
“The Hidden Brain” - TEDx Talk by Shankar Vedantam – This talk explores how our minds shape the stories we tell ourselves, and how we can reshape those stories to create a more fulfilling life.
Reading Recommendation 📘
“Why Buddhism is True” by Robert Wright – A fascinating exploration of how our minds work and how we can use mindfulness to gain control over our thoughts and narratives.
Listening Recommendation 🎧
“On Purpose” by Jay Shetty – This podcast dives into how we can reshape our inner narrative and create a life aligned with our true purpose.
Final Thoughts
The story you tell yourself is more powerful than you might realise. Control the narrative, and you control your life. If you’ve been stuck in a limiting story, it’s time to rewrite it. You have the power to change not only how you see yourself but how you experience the world around you.
And if you have any recommendations or topics you’d like covered, I’d love to hear from you.
